Honestly, Jade did not really know how to take the news of the miscarriage. For one, Femi was shocked. He had no idea she was even pregnant. The news made him feel worse. He couldn’t bear to come face to face with her. Not only had he hurt her. He had also killed the baby.
Her mother had found a more cogent reason why she couldn’t marry Femi. She termed him violent.
When the doctor certified her fit to go home, her mother gave her a really long talk on how handicap men were violent and could end up killing their wives. She talked about the banker who was killed by her husband and how sentiments never brought anyone from the dead.
Jade had been ignoring Femi’s calls. She was hurt, but more concretely, she was confused. She didn’t know if she wanted to continue with the relationship or not. Even Teni wasn’t asking her to consider being with him anymore.
Femi didn’t hear the knock on his door. He was gulping what was left of the bottle of Whiskey in his hands. He felt like a worse mess than before. He had lost every sense of faith or sanity.
Yemi walked in. He looked up at her, and turned away as though she was not welcome. She sat on his bed and tried to hide her tears.
“I should never have left you all by yourself. I shouldn’t have trusted Jade to take good care of you.” She said.
Femi belched, and then hissed.
“I was the one who messed up. I hurt her. She was hospitalized because of me.”
“Well, you need to let it go and move on…”
“Move on? Like without Jadesola?”
Yemi gave him a puzzled look.
“Her mother came to the house and said she has called off the wedding…didn’t you know?” Yemi said.
Femi looked surprised.
“When did this happen? I have been trying to call her but she hasn’t been picking my calls or replying my text messages. I call Teni but she keeps saying she will call me back.”
“Her mom was really irate. She said Jade’s family has withdrawn their blessings.”
Femi sighed, and Yemi turned her face away from the stench of his breath.
“I need to go and see her. I need to apologize. I need to make things right. I think I was too hard on her…I didn’t even know she was pregnant.” Femi panicked.
Tokunbo parked his vehicle in the Martins drive way, and then walked into the house to see Jadesola. She was looking a lot better than when he had seen her two days ago. Her and Teni were playing scrabble when he walked in.
“Hi ladies,” He said smiling, and dropping the basket of fruits he had brought on the floor.
Teni smiled and hugged him then excused them.
Jade was still ignoring him. She blamed him for everything that happened. If he hadn’t sent the text messages, Femi would not have had anything to complain about.
“How long are you going to ignore me for, Jade?” He said, stroking her cheek. She hissed and changed her posture.
“Tokunbo, this isn’t one of those times you get silly. How could you do that? Oscar Pistorius? Really?” She said.
“I’m sorry now. Ma binu. Better pikin.” He teased, smiling and tickling her.
Jade smiled. This was what she missed with Femi. He used to be that way…able to create fun out of very tense situations.
“I’m not talking to you. You have no idea how much damage you’ve caused.”
“I never intended breaking you guys up. But Jade, I think you need to search your heart and ask yourself what you really want. I know Femi’s a great man, but is that the life you want?”
Jade shot a stern look, trying to be defensive.
“What are you saying?” She attacked him.
“Sweetheart,” He held her hand. “I…I don’t know but I think he will always be stuck in self-pity. I try to make the best of every situation I find myself in. Being confined to a prosthetic leg is not the end of the world.”
Jade was becoming uneasy. He held her hand firmer.
“Can you remember when I stayed back to talk with him while you went canoeing with Henry and Isioma? I was dying! I asked him how he was coping and if his plans on moving on and getting used to what has happened. He told me he knows his company is gonna find an excuse to let him off, and he didn’t know what business to start because customers might be biased…I mean, how irritating is that? You don’t live life like that, man! I saw the way you were doing your best to make him feel good about himself, like an errand girl. That’s not you, Jade…Is that the kind of marriage you want?”
“Just stop, okay! Stop it, Tokunbo. You have no idea about the relationship between me and Femi. He has no one to take care of him. He was in a bomb blast! He’s been through a lot.”
“Okay. Why don’t you go back to him?”
She paused, as though she had to think her reply.
It had been over a week since she had been discharged from the hospital. She was still not speaking to Femi and she had resigned from the consulting firm where she worked with Femi’s cousin. She didn’t want any bias. She just wanted a clear head.
He had called her and had kept sending so many texts, pleading and telling her how he had no one else to rely on. She had finally agreed to visit him at his apartment. She had first suggested they met in public, but she considered his condition and decided she would go see him.
He looked his worst. She searched her heart for the emotion she felt. It wasn’t love…it was pity. She pitied him.
Femi got off the wheel chair and tried to walk without the help of crutches. She looked away. She hadn’t come to cry.
“I’m not going to be in this wheel chair forever, Jade. See.” He walked again.
“I will be normal again for you. I’ll walk. Please just don’t leave me. I love you so much and can’t think of losing you. Don’t let me lose everything I have. Please. I’m so sorry for what happened. I…I wish you’d let me know you were pregnant. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want to add to your…your problems.”
“Please give me another chance.”
Jade shook her head. She looked away for some minutes then started to talk. She knew she was going to cry. She couldn’t help it.
“I don’t want you to think this is because of the accident. I have always loved you and couldn’t have dreamt of marrying someone else.” She started.
“But you’ve changed so much, Femi. I want to be here for you, but I don’t even understand what’s going on in my head. I love you, but I...I don't know.”
“Are you scared? I know I’ve been whiny and needy…I won’t…”
“It’s not that! It’s just that I don’t want to help you because I’m scared. I want to help you because I love you. And these weeks, I’ve been feeling very scared. I don’t know what the future holds…”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying Babe.”
She looked at him.
“I don’t wanna be with you because I pity you.”
She could literally see his heart break into a million pieces.
“Jade I was your icon! You always bragged about me. You said you had never loved anyone the way you loved me. You’re supposed to love me unconditionally. I would never stop loving you even if something happened to you.”
He came towards her and held her hand. She used to feel so much attraction when he held her. But now, she flinched, as though the amputation was contagious. Femi noticed her reaction too, and she was so sorry.
“I think being with you will make you feel worse. I think I should go. Besides, my mom doesn't want us to get married. You scared me. You got violent.” She said.
“You know I'm not violent! You’re not leaving me. You’re not.”
“I’m sorry. I have to. We’ll always be friends. I’ll always be here for you. I love you as a friend.”
He laughed, blinking tears that had formed in his eyes.
“Is this because of Tokunbo?” He asked.
She attacked him immediately.
“No way! Of course not. Tokunbo is to blame for all these. I can’t be with Tokunbo. I can’t believe you just said that. Why would you say that?”
“Because I know you, and I know when you’re being defensive.”
She shook her head and grabbed her bag.
“I have to go, Femi. I’m so sorry.”