Tuesday, 19 August 2014

POPPING THE QUESTION - short story.




This was one of the worst feelings I had ever felt in my entire thirty years of age. I guess it was accumulated pressure though, from my mother back at Lagos, and my twin sister who just had her second child.

Yes. The pressure had always been there. At first, they had complained that I was a bad girl and that I attended too many parties. Momsi had even warned me and asked the other ladies from her Christian Wives Society in her church to talk to me. They had said that with the way I was going, I wouldn’t find a man to marry me. They asked me to be more like my twin, Theodora. I always laughed because I was really the only one who knew the truth about everything. You see, I was the good one here. I was the one who partied less of us both. I was the one who went to church more often. It was me who didn’t sleep with lecturers for good grades, and it was still me who didn’t lie to our father about how much we had been asked to buy Photosynthesis. My twin sister knew that our parents were illiterates and she used it to her advantage because our parents are quite bucksed up.

But I don’t understand how she got married before me, to a very handsome and rich guy at that! I was the conservative one! I don’t think I’ve ever heard Theodora pray before! Except last week, when she called me on our thirtieth birthday and advised me to please find a man! and had added in her prayer Father please bring a man! Any man! What an insult? She now spoke like Momsi, with every conversation ending in the usual phrase; when will you marry?

Well, of course. I want to get married. I badly want to. And I have given my boyfriend all the signals I can come up with. I have told him how much I love kids, and how I want to spend my life with someone as wonderful as him, how I love his last name, even though I hated it. My boyfriend is an African American. Well, I just think we’re both Africans, except that he doesn’t know what part of Africa he’s from. His name is Daniel and his surname is Doug. I don’t like to pronounce his surname to Nigerian people. They always say Dog ke?!



...

I thought this was the day Daniel was going to ask me to be his bride. He had woken me up with a call at 6 A.M and he told me he loved me so much and wanted us to go on a romantic date in the evening. Then he sang John Legend’s All of me to me! (I forgot to mention that Daniel has an awesome voice. He’s actually a budding musician part-time).

By the time I got to the office, I met roses. They had been delivered before I got there. And they were from my Daniel. I am not really a flower kind of girl, but he’s American so I had to love them anyway. It clicked that he might be proposing when he sent a text again that he had been thinking about us so much and he wanted to discuss something with me. That was it. I told my boss that I was sick and needed to go to the clinic. Well, I went to the clinic alright. The Hair and Nail clinic. (Lol). I needed to get all dolled up and have the perfect manicure for the ring he must have picked out! 


I couldn’t keep it to myself. I called my twin in Nigeria immediately and told her that I had some big news for her and I would tell her later in the evening. 

***

THE DATE

“You look so beautiful, baby.” Daniel said, as he admired me. We sat together, facing each other, at the Italian restaurant. I was all smiles. I was just trying to maintain a straight face though, even if within me, my heart was almost jumping out with anxiety.

After what seemed like a million hours, he held my hand (the left one) and started to look into my eyes and he started saying a lot of romantic things that I didn’t even hear. I was just waiting for the question to be popped.

“I think it’s time we took the next step in this relationship. So baby,” He said, putting his hand into his blazer pocket. I was so thrilled. I didn’t know when I started crying and nodding my head.

“Will you move in with me?” He asked.

Huh? 

I stared at the house keys that he had brought out of his pocket. That was it? House keys? Seriously? I couldn’t stop crying.  And he actually thought my tears were because his question meant so much to me. But really, I was crying because I felt so stupid!


Then my phone began to ring. It was my evil twin sister.





*Popping the Question 
*fisayotalabi

14 comments:

  1. Oh no! Doug kwa... u no try..

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  2. I don't think Doug is serious ooo lol

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  3. Fisayo iwo ati suspense. Lol nice one

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  4. You just made my evening, can't stop laughing.

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  5. Hahahahaha...hilarious! Nice one...

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  6. hehehe you had me cracking up @ dog ke lmao

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  7. hahahahahaha...the end is hilarious.

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  8. Really funny ending especialy "the evil twin sister" lol. eeooo advanced single nor easy oooo. Nothing wey u nor go hear

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  9. Lollllzz. Move in ke? Interesting read.

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  10. chai fisayo! you indeed are, the Queen of Prose! ! lovely story!

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  11. Hehehe... cudnt stop Laffing! Na to cook up story for twin sister jare...

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